What I Learned From My Year Off, Part 3: I’m Still Me!
I had this idea in my head that if I quit for a year I would not only be happy and content as a homemaker and homeschoolin’ mama, but that I would excel at it.
Turns out, I don’t excel at homemaking (understatement of the year if we’re talking about cleaning), and I while I love homeschooling my kiddos, I’m not awesome at it. Or maybe I am. You’ll have to ask my kids in a few years.
As for happy and content? Mostly. But only mostly.
Because it turns out, there is this color that God put in me that I can’t stuff away or make black and white. This color in my soul that lights me up (and Lord willing, glorifies Him) when I let it out. What is this color? It is the color of my personality and my gifts and what God put inside me before the creation of the world so that I would be a part of bringing God’s Kingdom to bear on this earth.
That’s right, good works given to me to do in advance, which I can only assume correlate with how He made me because I am compelled to do them. Or, said in another way, how He made me can be used in the good works He’s planned for me. And since I’m clay and He’s the potter, I’m going with it!
I’m accepting who I am and the color God gave me because I believe when I am fully me He is fully glorified.
What does this mean practically?
It means that I will have anchors in place to help me keep focused on my time with God, my home and my family and living out of who God made me to be (which, incidentally, fills my soul. God is so kind). Some of my anchors include: Journaling, praying, and scripture reading sometime in the morning before the day gets carried away. Bible reading with my kiddos (curled up on the couch all snugly), chores and school, and then COLOR (soul-time!), and then life and then tea time with reading (comfy pillows and snacks; my kids love this), more life and daily living and COLOR and then dinner and life and bedtime reading in my bed with the babes cozied up around me. Then, BEDTIME, which equals (once the babes are actually in bed) COLOR!
Mostly, I am just living life by holding on tight to grace and begging God for Holy Spirit power to help me get the days done well and with fun (fun is so good for souls). When I get the anchors in, there is so much more freedom in my heart to do other things, like write and speak.
And so I don’t forget, I have to say that one of the good works that God prepared in advance for me to do is to mother my children! That is a good work! And I am thankful to have the opportunity to use the color God gave me to do just that: love and raise my babies. Isn’t that encouraging knowing that our good works are sometimes right in front of us?
There is, of course, so much to say about all of this, and I do! I say it in my new book, which doesn’t come out until August! Ha! Sorry. More on that later.
So here I am, doing my best to trust God with all of it, make wise decisions, and just enjoy who I am. Probably what most of you are trying to do as well. So glad for that. It’s wonderful not go at this life alone.
“Listen to the rhythm of your own timing.” -Tales of the Kingdom