I won’t tell you I’m healed or fully free or perfectly whole, but I will tell you that I have learned to face the things that have tried to kill me.

I have been in and out of therapy for 20 years (longer if you count the stint when I was too young to remember it). I recently wrapped up sessions with a s*x coach (although I’ll be meeting with her from time to time in the future). I read counseling books as a hobby and I start my grad training in Counseling in a couple of weeks. I’ve also gone through Jay Stringer’s “Unwanted” training.

And here’s what I know so far:

There is no arriving at being healed on this earth, but there are shifts toward it, movements that make living in our bodies more doable, more enjoyable, more hopeful.

These shifts, this movement, only come through ache and confrontation; pain and the perseverance to witness the truth of our stories. To face and name what is trying to kill us.

It’s worth it, the ache and the pain and perseverance and the confrontation.

You won’t arrive but you will begin.

The Unwanted Journey intensive is an invitation to become aware of the places where your sexuality is fractured so that you can begin the process of coming back together into wholeness. It is a journey of curiosity in place of judgment, exploration in place of denial, and imagination in place of despair.

It’s an invitation to a healthy, shame-free, whole sexuality.

Over the course of 12 weeks, I will be guiding a small group of women through therapist Jay Stringer’s Unwanted Journey material, focusing specifically on the sexual fractures women experience. As a group and through individual assignments, we will explore our sexual stories with gentleness, honesty, and curiosity, uncovering the places shame has infiltrated, working towards healing (it’s not a destination but a path), and the truth and goodness of our sexuality. This vulnerable process of hard, good work, will till the soil of our hearts, preparing it for a new sexual story and expression, one with awareness, goodness, and agency. Shame-free. True. Whole.

Why Jay Stringer’s Course Material?

Read more about Jay here.

In 2019, after hearing Jay on a podcast, I immediately ordered his book, Unwanted. I found the book to be a refreshing reprieve from the traditional “lust management” focus found in much of Christian literature when it comes to our sexual selves and the temptations, fantasies, failures, trauma, and skewed body image many of us experience. Jay’s premise focused on the idea of invitation and curiosity to understand the stories behind our unwanted sexual behaviors. What a beautiful concept, to invite rather than deny, to listen instead of to turn away. His book and his work were significant in my own healing journey. His approach was counterintuitive, or rather, counter to much of what I, and many others, have been taught. I wanted to shout his work from the rooftops. So when the opportunity came up for me to train with Jay, I took it.

In 2020 Jay offered training to leaders who were impacted by his work and wanted to work with others who struggled with unwanted sexual behavior. Over the course of his training, Jay walked with us through our own sexual journeys and guided us into how we can walk with others toward wholeness. It was hard, good work. The men and women I trained with also taught me so much about the beauty of group work and the freedom that comes when we share our stories and offer compassion and kindness to one another.

I am now an Unwanted Certified Guide, which means that not only have I been trained to guide you through the Journey Course material, I have the honor of walking alongside you, compassionately guiding you as you journey through this healing process.

There is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries. Daniel 2:28

The Details of the Intensive

The Unwanted Journey Intensive is a therapeutic process that will meet for two hours a week for 12 weeks. As your guide, I will be utilizing one of the most powerful resources available to us: relational connection. We will be meeting as a group of women who, although may not share the same sexual struggles, share the desire to be free from the sexual pain that continues to hold on to us, keeping us from being whole and embodied.

In addition to the group work, we will be doing individual assignments that guide us deeper into our stories and the places we have either avoided or been unable to understand.

The work in this intensive is vulnerable work, to be sure, but it’s good work, and the heartache and tears we will experience will be part of the movement toward healing.

The suffering you’re currently experiencing is taking too much from you, and we both know it’s costing something. If you’re ready to deal with the pain, I’m ready to walk with you through it.

We will begin on September 15th, meeting as a group over Zoom on Wednesday evenings from 6:30-8:30pm EST.

There are five spots available for the intensive (women only).

In addition to the group work and individual assignments, you will be getting lifetime access to The Journey Course and a paperback copy of the book Unwanted.

The investment of this three-month, two-hour-a-week intensive is $780 ($32.50/hour). Once you are accepted into the intensive you will have the option to pay all at once or in monthly or weekly payments.

What is an Unwanted Certified Guide?

An Unwanted Certified Guide is someone who has gone through Jay Stringer’s Unwanted Guide Training for Leaders. I went through this training in 2020.

Are you a therapist?

I am not a therapist but rather a guide, someone who walks alongside you, compassionately guiding you as you journey through the healing process.

I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Human Development and Family Studies from Penn State University and am getting my Masters of Arts in Counseling (licensure) from Missio Seminary. I currently work in a job where I meet with and advocate for women who have walked hard roads and are working towards a better future.

Most importantly, I care about this work and about women and seeing them move toward wholeness. I care because I have gone through my own sexual struggles, been in therapy (in addition to going through this course and currently working with a sex coach), and have experienced surprising freedom and healing. I believe in this work and intend to always be a part of guiding women toward freedom.

Can’t I just go through the course myself?

You can go through the course yourself (see here), but the value of going through it with a group and a guide is significantly more valuable as you will get much more out of the process. Plus, I am gearing the course towards women specifically.

My job as your guide is to help you process the material well; I am not a therapist but the work is similar to being in therapy. You can read books and do studies on your own, but having someone walk with you through the healing process can affect real change in your life. In addition to a guide, you will also have the opportunity to process with others in a small, safe group, which I have found to be even more beneficial than working one-on-one. The beauty and compassion and camaraderie in a small group of others going through similar struggles is one of the most profound and healing things you can do.

Why is the intensive twelve weeks when there are eighteen episodes?

Most weeks we will watch more than one episode, but the episodes are only around 15 minutes each.

Why should I invest in this intensive?

What you’re dealing with right now is already costing you something. Maybe the cost for you is your marriage, or maybe it’s the inner turmoil you can’t shake because you’ve carried your secret or your pain for so long. Our sexuality and the places where it is fractured affect our closest and deepest relationships. A question you might want to ask instead is, “Is what I’m currently suffering through worth what I’m paying in time, energy, and heartache?”

With the intensive, you will be giving your time and energy, and there will be some heartache and likely some tears, but this price is a worthy one because there will be movement toward healing. And I’m going to be with you in it and through it. It costs us both something to go through this kind of intensive.

As to the financial cost, yes, it’s a significant investment. According to Google, an individual will spend, on average, $150 for an approximate hour-long session to discover and work on sexual struggles in their lives. For less than half that price, you will receive weekly 2-hour sessions with me that are rich in group work, in addition to assignments that will lead toward your sexual healing and freedom.

I don’t take this work for granted, and I will give you my time and attention and the honor your stories deserve as we journey together.

You can request a scholarship when you fill out the application, although it is not guaranteed.

How do I pay? Are there payments?

Once you are accepted into the intensive you will have the option to pay all at once or in monthly or weekly payments that will be automatically charged to your credit card.

Are there refunds?

All sales are final, so please evaluate if this is something you are committed to investing in at this time.

If you have additional questions, please email sarah@sarahmae.com.

To see the episode breakdowns, Head HERE and scroll down.

With love,

Sarah Mae

(Scroll down to skip all my praise and get to the deets if you must)

Two of my favorite humans are Shawn and Maile (pronounced Miley) Smucker.

They are down to earth, kind, fun, and embody the phrase “good folks”. On top of being genuinely nice people, they are exceptionally gifted at writing and story-telling. Shawn, who has an honors degree in English, has written several books, including award-winning novels, and Maile, who also has an honors degree in English, has written three novels while also somehow focusing on raising their six (yes, six) kids. I stan.

Why am I telling you about these good, smart, wonderful, writerly people? Because they are offering something that I would not be sharing if it wasn’t from these two integrous friends of mine: a writing course. Now we’re not just talking about any old writing course, this is specifically geared to those of you who want to write a novel.

A Brief Word on Course Peddlers

A brief word before I continue. I am aware of the many peddlers of courses out there who haven’t actually done the work but want to make a quick buck. I get it and I’m wary myself of these kinds of things. What I’m telling you about this course is that I stake my reputation on recommending it because Shawn and Maile are the real deal, and I not only trust them, but I have worked alongside them and have a year’s long friendship with them and know their ability and their character. Okay, back to the course.

Through the course of the nine-month program you will:

• Complete the first draft of an 80,000-word novel, either a brand-new story or completing one you’ve worked on before

• Receive 30+ weekly videos that provide encouragement, direction, insight into various elements of writing a novel, and interviews with other authors

• Participate in one to two monthly live Zoom calls where we’ll cheer you on, answer questions, and chat with industry experts, including authors, agents, and editors

• Receive recommended reading selections that corresponds with where we’re at in the novel-writing process

• Participate in workshop opportunities to give and receive feedback with your peers

• Chat with other writers as well as Shawn and Maile on an online message board

• Complete the program and move forward in your writing life with goals in mind and tangible steps forward!

Your Teachers

Shawn is an award-winning novelist by night (with five titles under his belt) and a collaborator and co-writer by day (having worked on 25+ books with other authors). He has an honors degree in English, has been making a living as a writer for eleven years, is represented by agent Rachelle Gardner, and has released books independently and with publishers.

Maile has an honors degree in English, has written three novels, and is currently in the querying process, so…she knows your pain. She has raised six children in the last 17 years and is beginning to have more time to dedicate to her first love…no, not Shawn. Writing. She has taught writing in different settings, including as a table leader for the Black Barn Online.

The two of them love coaching and encouraging other writers, something they do regularly at their podcast, The Stories Between Us. They can’t wait for you to join them on this novel-writing journey.

When will this program run?

Registration is open until February 24th. The first video will go out on February 28th, along with the syllabus and recommended reading list, and the class will run through the beginning of November.

What do you cover? Is there a syllabus?

See the syllabus at the bottom of this page.

How long will I have access / what if I fall behind?

You will have lifetime access to the core content videos, so if finishing in nine months is not possible because life gets in the way, you can work through the weekly videos at your own pace. Some components (like the live Zoom calls) are time-sensitive, but the core content videos can be worked through at any time.

I know what you’re all wondering…how much does this program cost?

We are currently offering everything listed above, including the 30+ recorded videos on writing, the Zoom calls, and the online community, for:

• A one-time payment up-front of $899* (Less than $25/week)
  OR

• A $100 deposit plus 9 monthly payments of $99 ($991 total), paid over the duration of the course*

We don’t know that we’ll ever be able to offer this course again for this price–every comparable course we’ve been able to find online is in the $1,200 – $2,000 range. But we really want this first run to be open to as many people as possible. We hope you’ll join us!

*There is a 30-day, no questions asked, 100% money-back guarantee. No refunds will be given after 30 days…but why would you want one? You’re on your way to writing a novel!

Friends, like I said earlier, it is not my thing to just share courses, but this is one I know will benefit you if you’re wanting to write or finish your novel with the help of not just experts, but good people. I cannot recommend Shawn and Maile enough. To get started, just head HERE.

I am so excited for you!

Love, Sarah Mae

NINE-MONTH NOVEL SYLLABUS

The Nine Month Novel
Syllabus*

Week 1 – Regarding our hopes and goals for the course

Week 2 – Using the combination of Character / Setting / Conflict to generate story ideas

Week 3 – Why write novels, anyway?

Week 4 – Point-of-view

Week 5 – First Draft strategy

Week 6 – Going deeper with your protagonist

Week 7 – Outlining v. Freestyle and the strengths and weaknesses of each

Week 8 – Discovering (or creating) your writing voice

Week 9 – Thinking through structure and plot (The First Act)

Week 10 – Pace and how to maintain it

Week 11 – Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue

Week 12 – The First Gate (Moving Into Act 2)

Week 13 – What themes and motifs are emerging in your writing?

Week 14 – Figures of speech

Week 15 – Free Indirect Narration

Week 16 – Books we’re reading and what we’re learning from them as writers

Week 17 – How to use feedback (and when to get it)

Week 18 – Antagonists and their role in your story

Week 19 – Mindsets to get you through the messy middle

Week 20 – Subplots – Are they contributing or not?

Week 21 – Hitting the wall and finding fresh inspiration

Week 22 – Sketching out your story arc / timeline

Week 23 – Explore potential endings through freewriting

Week 24 – The Second Gate (Moving into Act 3)

Week 25 – The Climax

Week 26 – The Voices

Week 27 – Peer Review

Week 28 – Tying Themes and Characters into Your Conclusion

Week 29 – How has your protagonist changed?

Week 30 – Taking stock of where you’re at in the process

Week 31 – Finishing Strong

Week 32 – How our creations become art (clue: by sharing them with others)

Week 33 – What to do with your first draft / goals for a second draft

Week 34 – Finding Beta Readers

Week 35 – Thoughts on Self-publishing

Week 36 – Working with editors

Week 37 – Working with agents

Week 38 – Farewell and Next Steps

Hope*writers will be open for new members January 24-28, 2022! Click HERE for details!

As an author, I get asked on the regular questions about publishing. This morning I took the time to answer a young woman who had questions many of you aspiring authors might have, so I thought I'd share my answers. Hope you find them helpful! (Her questions, my answers in bold)

There are all kinds of publishing companies out there, and a lot of them find unique ways to scam you or take full control over your books. How do I know what companies are trustworthy and reasonable? I still want to have some ownership over my books and be able to have a say in what happens to them.

If you are self-publishing, I recommend using CreateSpace which is owned by Amazon. It's free to use and free to upload your books that can seamlessly be sold on Amazon in print and eBook form. You can also use CreateSpace to print books for you to have and sell on your own (events, etc.). Your cost is finding an editor and a cover designer/interior formatting.

As far as a reputable publishing house, you'll know they are reputable because THEY PAY YOU, you don't pay them. :) 

The main Christian publishers are:

Zondervan

Thomas Nelson

Tyndale

LifeWay (B & H)

Revell

Moody

Baker

Harvest House

Waterbrook/Multnomah

W-Group

FaithWords

Has the publishing process been easy for you? I've heard that for some it can be a tedious process that involves lots and lots of investment, and for others, it can be an extremely easy process. Were there any struggles you faced along the way?

The publishing process for me has been fairly easy, but only because God had allowed me to grow a readership with my blog and have it get noticed. When I first started out, I had been blogging about things that interested me and that I wanted to share with other women, and I had built up a readership (platform in other words). I self-published a short eBook that sold very well and caught the attention of another author who introduced me to her agent. From there I was able to get publishing contracts with reputable houses.

The keys to getting published are:

1.) Have a readership - do you have a platform where people are interested in what you have to say? If not, you want to start putting your content out there to see if there is a desire for it.

2.) Have something to say that will fill a book and not just a blog post - and does that something to say resonate with your audience/readership? Does it have a strong felt need?  Are you excited about it?

Also, are there any general things I should know about publishing? I really know nothing about the process, and I have absolutely no idea where to begin. I've thought about self-publishing, but that could put me in a box that might be hard to get out of in the future.

It's very difficult to get a publishing deal without an agent, and it's very difficult to get an agent or a publishing deal without a platform. 

I highly recommend you checking out Hope Writers. It's a membership community of writers led by Emily P. Freeman on how to balance the art of writing with the business of publishing. Check it out here: https://www.hopewriters.com/

Literary Agent Resource: How Do You Find a Literary Agent? 

As to being put in a box, I started with self-publishing and it’s what got me a traditional publishing deal. Many other authors can say the same.

I hope this is helpful!

Love to you!

Sarah Mae

Readers, do you have more questions? Email me at sarah@sarahmae.com!

The Complicated Heart is for every woman who has ever wondered if her little-girl heart could heal.

Click HERE to Join the Launch Team!

In the summer of 1994, when I was 14, I moved in with mom.

In the fall of 1994 I discovered my mom was an alcoholic.

In the fall of 1994 I stared at a pink daisy razor and wondered if I could slice the life out of myself with it. My mom dared me to do it.

In the spring of 1996, at 16, I found out I was pregnant.

In the spring of 2001 I learned how to set boundaries.

In the fall of 2002 I learned to mourn the loss of a mother, even though she was still alive.

In the fall of 2008 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver (alcohol induced).

In the spring of 2016 I gently rubbed my mom’s head as her breath wound down and she entered the arms of Jesus. I told her I would tell our story.

On June 30th, 2018 I turned in the first draft manuscript of that story, The Complicated Heart: Loving Even When It Hurts.

On September 17, 2019, The Complicated Heart will be released to the world. And on September 18th, 2019 God’s providence and grace will be on full display in my heart because my daughter will be turning 14, the age I was when this book-story starts. Amazing grace indeed.

I’d be honored to have your help in sharing this story, this book.

Want to know more about The Complicated Heart book? Head HERE.

To join the book launch team, head HERE.

Join the Launch Team Q & A

What does it mean to join a launch team?

It just means that you want to help me get the word out about The Complicated Heart.

Can everyone who applies be on the launch team?

We have a limited number of spots, so if you’re interested, please make sure to fill out the simple application clicking HERE. The first 100 verified/eligible people to apply will get a paperback copy of the book.

The call for launch team applicants goes public tomorrow!

How can I spread the word about a book I haven’t read?

Everyone on the launch team will get a copy of The Complicated Heart. The first 100 verified/eligible people to sign-up will get an Advanced Reader Copy of the book (that’s a fancy way of saying, it’s a real paperback book, but it’s considered a media copy, not the polished copy that will be on bookshelves - but it’s still the story). Everyone else will receive a digital copy.

But that’s not all.

As a launch team member, you will also receive:

Exclusive access to the The Complicated Heart Facebook Group where you can make some new friends, interact with me, and also have opportunities to win some fun prizes!

You’ll also get to personally ask me questions about the book, the stories in it, and anything you’re still curious about after reading it (I always wish I could do that with authors after reading their memoirs!).

What is required of me if I join?

As a launch team member, you agree to:

1. Review the book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Goodreads (copy and pasting is fine) within a week after release day.

2. Spread the word on social media and in person with family and friends.

3. Be an engaged member of the team by participating in the Facebook Group.

4. Have fun!

Click HERE to Join the Launch Team!

Thank you.

Sarah Mae

To pre-order your copy of The Complicated Heart: Loving Even When It Hurts, just click on the retailer of your choice below.

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE

BAM!

IndieBound

LIFEWAY

This morning as I was making pancakes, my husband walked into the kitchen and I said something to him that made perfect sense to me, and he said, “Baby, you’ve been having a conversation in your head for like 20 minutes and I just walked into it…what are we talking about?”

It’s true, I do that. I’ll have something on my mind and as though mid-sentence in my brain I’ll say it out loud as though he knows what I’ve been thinking about. Do you do this?

I think that’s how I’m starting this post. I realized that I haven’t blogged here in 10 months. 10 months! How did that happen? Instagram happened. I guess I use my blogging energy there. So here, I haven’t told you that I wrote a Bible Study that came out in June, or that I released a podcast, or that my new book, The Complicated Heart, is done and releases September 17th.

I haven’t told you that I might homeschool my youngest again, or that we got a dog, or that my new favorite gets-me-sick-every-time obsession is Rainbow Twizzlers. But this post isn’t about those things. This is a post where even though I haven’t blogged much about my new book, I want to tell you why it’s important for you and me that you know the importance of pre-ordering a book.

But first, another story: I was sitting at the pool a week or so ago and my friend was asking about my book, and the topic of pre-orders came up. I think she must have asked me why it mattered if someone pre-ordered, and I told her, and she was all, “I had no idea! I would pre-order more books if I knew that.”

If she knew. Because she didn’t.

And so I thought of you all. And I thought about how I should tell you why pre-orders are important, even though this feels a little like a conversation you’re walking into mid-sentence.

Okay so first…

THE COMPLICATED HEART IS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER!

You can’t see me, but I’m grinning ear-to-ear and dancing in my heart. I’m basically a real-life emoji, feeling all the feels (I am an enneagram 4, so….). At the end of this post, you can read more about the book (please do).

Why Pre-Orders Are So Important to You and the Author (and a quick word on book price)

Amazon Stock (as in, supply, not Wall Street stuff)

Have you ever gone to order a book and it says, “Out of Stock, ships in 20 days” or something like that? It’s because there wasn’t enough demand for the book before launch, and Amazon orders for launch-week and beyond based on that demand.

When we released Desperate, this happened, Amazon ran out of stock during launch week (a very important week for authors). What a bummer to hear from people who were trying to order it and couldn’t get it!

So, if you’re excited to read a book, and you’re a Prime user or a Barnes & Noble member (free shipping FTW), please consider pre-ordering the book so your fellow readers don’t have to wait a month after launch to get it.

BONUS FOR YOU: If you pre-order and Amazon runs out, no matter for you! You will get the book on launch week no matter what!

Word-of-Mouth Marketing

Pre-orders give a great jumpstart on word-of-mouth marketing because it gets all of us thinking about the book and telling other people about it, which is a major gift for authors. There is nothing like word-of-mouth recommendations or conversation about a book to build interest. It’s also helpful because as soon as you get your book on launch day, you’ll likely (hopefully) begin talking about it right away. When I get a book in the mail I’ve been waiting for, I get giddy over it and want to share it. I bet you do, too.

If you’re excited about a book, pre-order it. And share it. It’s a joy for the reader and the author.

Publishing Lists

Pre-orders are counted as first-week sales, which just means that it gives a book its best shot at hitting one of the many bestseller lists. Why does this matter, hitting a list? Visibility. The more a book gets out there, the more people pay attention to it, the more hands it will get into, and the more impact it will have.

If you think a book is good and important and worthy of sharing, pre-order it.

Book Stores - We Love You!

When you pre-order a book, and others pre-order a book, and ALL OF YOU PRE-ORDER A BOOK, it gets people talking, and when people talk about a book (word-of-mouth) and people get excited and pre-order it (demand) and book numbers add up (publishing lists), book stores take notice too. If you’re like me, you love book stores. You love walking the aisles and touching the books and being surrounded by hard-won words.

You love talking to your favorite independent bookstore owner about their favorite books or what’s new that they recommend. You love the comfy-chairs (Barnes & Noble, bring them back) and the coffee and the camaraderie. Me too.

I know there’s a tension between me telling you to pre-order online and also to love on your local bookstore, but the reality is, when you pre-order, wherever you pre-order, it helps all of us. If the word gets out, people will go to their local bookstores to get it.

A Word on a Book’s Price

My book retails for $16.99. I know that seems expensive, at least if you’re like me and your budget doesn’t allow for all the books you currently have on your wish list. I get it. But a couple of things:

First, that price will go down, and when you pre-order, you are guaranteed the lowest price. You do not pay $16.99. You will likely pay around 10 bucks.

Second, when you pre-order, you do not pay right away, you are only charged when the book ships.

Third, a good book is worth $16.99, because a good book has the potential to initiate change, to impact people and generations for good for years to come. The effect of a good book is priceless. Unless you’re broke, in which case, refer to “First.” :)

Here’s why I’m asking you to pre-order The Complicated Heart

Yes for the reasons above, but also because I believe the story will inspire change in you, in someone you know, and in the generations coming up after you.

So, what’s The Complicated Heart about?

It’s the story of how I learned to love and forgive my alcoholic mother, but really it’s about the truth that dysfunction does not have to be your destiny or your identity. Victory is always on the table. (You can tweet that if you’d like.)

If you’re struggling with a complicated or confusing, manipulative, tangled-up relationship, here are some of the questions your heart might be asking:

• How do I forgive when the wound is still open?

• How do I forgive someone who carelessly brushes aside my pain, who has caused such destruction, and who doesn’t show remorse?

• How do I know when to stay and when to go?

• Will I ever not feel so dang crazy?

If you’ve struggled with a difficult relationship, if you’ve felt torn-up and crazy and confused because of it, if you just want to know how to move forward and be okay, my story is for you.

And if not for you, for someone you know.

To pre-order The Complicated Heart, just click on one of the retailers below.

AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE | LIFEWAY | INDIE BOUND | BAM!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Happy pre-ordering!

SM